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No surprise that I now pay special attention to any stories in the scriptures that involve widows. I imagine myself being in their circumstances and feel that I can better understand and relate to the mental, emotional, and physical anguish they must have experienced. It all seems so personal now. I think about the relationship between Naomi and Ruth, and consider how my own relationship with my…

Life is always changing. Intellectually I know that that has always been true in my own life, but it has felt like the changes have been greatly accelerated for me these past two years, new things coming at me constantly. So much seems to happen each and every week even. Last week was no different. We had a few setbacks and challenges with my medically fragile child,…

I've been careful to not talk a lot about the details of my daughter's health issues here on Meal Train, and I don't intend to dive into specifics now. (Yes, I have her permission for what I'm sharing.) But guys, it is a HUGE cause for celebration that on Friday we learned she has gained SIX POUNDS!! Huge, amazing, enormous, utterly fabulous, monumental, wow, wow, WOW! Before…

Seems surreal that this is the second birthday we have marked for Kenny without him here. It was an especially grief-y day for my kids, and complicated by newer grief about Grandma. It's interesting to note what things have been triggers for them, and how differently each of my children express their grief. I do trust that this day will eventually be one of fond memories and…

Let me start by saying that I don't think trials are on a horizontal plane. It's not about comparing our "hard" with anyone else's. There isn't some arbitrary yardstick of "THIS trial is [X times] harder than this one, which isn't quite as bad as _______________." I mean, sure, there are some things we would probably classify more as annoyances or inconveniences, but when it comes to…

Who wouldn't be cheered by finding these in their bathroom? (No, nothing creepy or unsavory going on with someone putting them there for me to discover.) On Saturday I ran into someone from our old ward whom I hadn't seen in a while. She knew the rudimentary details about what has been going on for our family, and she wanted to know if she could help in…

I was reading back through some old Meal Train entries, particularly from those first weeks and months after Kendall died. I wrote about being triggered while in the hospital with my oldest child, then how overwhelming our *first* major flood right after was. I couldn't help but chuckle ruefully at how I ended my post on May 1, 2021. "Things will calm down someday, right? I mean,…

I hadn't realized that there is a bit of notoriety that comes with speaking in stake conference. It's been interesting being recognized (and it felt like also carefully observed) as I was experiencing what in many ways was one of the most difficult weeks in my life (which you know, is saying something). It seems like everywhere the past two weeks I have run into people who…

I feel like I have lived a lifetime since my last post, plunged back in to the nightmarish world of constant fight or flight, hospitals, sitting there alone as the only adult making decisions, so many unanswered questions, and that ever-pervasive feeling of helplessness at not being able to alleviate the pain of someone I love. At this very moment I’m actually writing while sitting in an…

Yep, tomorrow is my (21st) wedding anniversary. It won't really resemble 2021's anniversary, though. Like last year I did clear my schedule. Or at least tried to. I did move all of my clients from that day to later this week. Except early Wednesday morning I will need to take my son to his middle school orientation/pay class fees/get his schedule/take school pictures event, and then immediately…